Feeling Down on Myself…

After having a talk with my best bud and talking about my weight loss/health goals and how I am not meeting them, I am feeling bummed. I haven’t been eating or exercising like I’d like to be. I’ve gained back a couple pounds and inches and my body fat percentage has increased. Sometimes I feel like my weight loss journey is like a bicycle chain. One link comes off and then quickly the whole chain comes off. Then it takes a lot of time and energy to put it back on. That’s where I am again. I’m feeling frustrated, mostly with myself. I’m also having negative thoughts (i.e. I’m fat and ugly). Only a short six weeks ago, I was feeling healthy and sexy and happy and now I’m back to feeling down on myself. It can happen so quickly.

I know this isn’t a chipper post, but sometimes you just gotta be real. And, this is how I’m feeling today. I would like to say that I have been rocking the last couple days with my fruit and veggie intake (mostly due to all the fresh veggies in my garden!), so there’s hope! My goal is to wake my butt up every morning at 5am and not go directly to the couch but instead drink some ice water and head to the gym!

The best laid plans…we’ll see what happens. Right now, I just kinda feel like crying. Not sure why I’m so emotional, though it probably has some relation to my reason for trying to lose weight. That’s a topic for another day, though.

Well, any encouragement is appreciation and especially prayers are welcome!



9 thoughts on “Feeling Down on Myself…

  1. Thank you for posting this. I think too many people only ever want to put their positive side out there, but that’s unrealistic and kind of cowardly. It takes real guts to say the things you said here. I admire your courage, and consider you an inspiration!
    Anyway, I know this sounds trite, but hang in there. You’ve always been very good at getting things done (truth be told, I’m jealous of a lot of the things you do). You’ll be back on top before too long!

  2. I have to say I agree with Sara. You are brave and beautiful. I too am envious of the projects you tackle. You are amazing! You inspire me to try new things and to return to the things that at one time made me feel complete, but I let slip to the wayside because I was “too busy.” Things like cooking and get dirt under my fingernails in the garden and actually sitting down to write. How does it feel to inspire a woman a generation older than you?

    As for feeling “fat” or “ugly,” we all have those days when we look in the mirror or step on the scale and think “I’m just not good enough.” Being thin doesn’t change that. It might be a new wrinkle or grey hair, a scar or your complexion, or something that can’t be seen on the outside–an illness, a regret, a pain that won’t heal. Sexy is a state of mind and healthy is more than physical–it is mental and social as well.

    So get off that scale, put on something beautiful, look in the mirror and repeat after me, “I am sexy!” Then get in that kitchen and make you and your husband something healthy and delicious! You can do this!

  3. *hugs* I’m right there with you – although you’re doing better than I am by far! It’s so hard to let go and relax into who we are, instead of constantly comparing ourselves to others and to the images of how we feel we are “supposed” to look – impossible images given to us by society at large (ha ha, pun intended).

    I don’t have any great answers, as I’m in the thick (again, ha ha!) of this battle myself, only right now I’m holed up in a trench and not really fighting to get back out on the healthy path to victory. But I can tell you that scales are for fish. Feelings are not facts. You are worthy of love and respect – including self-love and self-respect – right now, exactly where you are today. Eat well and move often and leave the rest up to God.

    O.K., off the soap box. Now I need to print those reminders out for myself. And I need to step away from the chocolate.

    I know we haven’t met in person, but I feel your pain. Please be kind to yourself. You didn’t put on unwanted pounds in a day – they won’t come off in a day. There will be setbacks, both physical and emotional. And a few pounds really doesn’t make you a better or worse person – although I know from painful experience how much it feels like it does.

    You CAN do this. You sound very motivated! Be kind to yourself, and may the rest fall into place.

  4. Allison, m’dear…. you know all about the positive self-talk,.,,you know all about the Blame Game and how destructive it is, especially when pointed at ourselves. So I won’t tell you about them πŸ˜‰ What I will do is repeat Anne’s “Scales are for Fishes!!”

    Now, for the Mommy Lecture part: Don’t fall into the trap of fat being bad. It isn’t… It’s is necessary. It is much more physically detrimental to be too thin. Concentrate on healthy, and the rest will fall where it is suppose to be. AND…. Over-exercising can be just as bad for you as not moving at all. I’m living proof of that one, unfortunately. πŸ˜› Again…healthy! You aren’t an Olympic triathlete!

    Remember — moderation in all things really is the best way to go. And please, please, please don’t put all your emotional eggs into this one basket. That is one of the best ways I know to blow yourself apart, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

    Now for the SIster part. (((((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))))) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!!! Your words tell me so!! APPRECIATE YOURSELF!!!

    Seriously, if you just met you for the first time and started a conversation, would you like the person you’d just met?? Lay you odds you would! And if a third party started beating up on the person you just met, wouldn’t you get mad at that rude person?

    So smile at you! Smile, and acknowledge that you, as are we all, are in a state of growth… a constant emerging of who we are and will be, informed by who we were. There is no “done” here. So don’t get down on yourself for not striving harder to get “done”. Smile, and appreciate the person you are, who ~thinks~ and ~works~ and ~strives~ to follow her life’s path upward, even through the valleys.

Let me know what you think! DΓ©jame saber quΓ© piensas!

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